What is a Co-Dependent person like?

Codependency is a complex and often misunderstood condition that affects many people, particularly those who have experienced narcissistic abuse. At Narc & Co, we specialise in helping individuals navigate the challenging journey of recovery from such abuse through personalised mentoring sessions conducted via Zoom. Our team of mentors, all of whom have successfully overcome narcissistic abuse, works under the expert guidance of Nick Kerry, MSc, a highly qualified professional in systemic psychotherapy, addiction, psychodynamic counseling, and social work.

What is a Codependent Person Like?

A codependent person often exhibits a range of behaviors and characteristics that reflect a deep-seated need for approval and validation from others, typically at the expense of their own needs and well-being. Here are some common traits:

1. Low Self-Esteem: Codependent individuals often struggle with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. They may constantly seek validation from others to feel worthy.

2. People-Pleasing: A strong desire to please others, even if it means neglecting their own needs. They may go to great lengths to avoid conflict and keep others happy.

3. Caretaking: Codependents often assume the role of caretaker, feeling responsible for the well-being and happiness of others. This can lead to neglecting their own health and happiness.

4. Difficulty Setting Boundaries: They typically have trouble saying no and establishing healthy boundaries. This can result in feeling overwhelmed and taken advantage of.

5. Need for Control: To maintain a sense of stability, codependents may exhibit controlling behaviors, often under the guise of helping or protecting others.

6. Fear of Abandonment: An intense fear of being abandoned or rejected can drive codependent behaviors, leading them to stay in unhealthy relationships or avoid expressing their true feelings.

7. Dependency on Relationships: Their self-worth is often tied to their relationships, leading them to feel incomplete or worthless when alone.

The Link to Narcissistic Behavior

Codependency is often deeply intertwined with narcissistic behavior, particularly in the context of abusive relationships. Narcissists thrive on control, admiration, and validation, which are the very things that codependents are conditioned to provide. Here’s how these dynamics play out:

1. Manipulation and Control: Narcissists are adept at manipulating codependents, exploiting their need to please and their fear of abandonment. This can create a toxic cycle where the codependent constantly seeks the narcissist’s approval, while the narcissist takes advantage of this need to maintain control.

2. Emotional Abuse: Narcissists often engage in emotional abuse, such as gaslighting and belittling, to undermine the codependent’s self-esteem and increase their dependency. This abuse exacerbates the codependent’s feelings of inadequacy and fuels their need for the narcissist’s approval.

3. Boundaries Violations: Narcissists have little regard for boundaries, which aligns with the codependent’s difficulty in setting and maintaining them. This lack of boundaries can lead to the codependent becoming enmeshed in the narcissist’s needs and desires, further losing their sense of self.

4. Power Imbalance: The relationship between a narcissist and a codependent is marked by a significant power imbalance. The narcissist’s dominance and the codependent’s submission create a dynamic where the codependent’s identity is overshadowed by the narcissist’s demands and expectations.

Dealing with Codependency and Narcissistic Abuse

Recovery from codependency and narcissistic abuse involves a multifaceted approach that includes self-awareness, education, and support. Here are some steps to begin this journey:

1. Acknowledge the Issue: The first step is recognising and admitting the presence of codependent behaviors and the impact of narcissistic abuse. This self-awareness is crucial for change.

2. Seek Professional Help: Engaging with professionals who understand codependency and narcissistic abuse can provide the necessary guidance and support. At Narc & Co, our mentors are equipped with the knowledge and personal experience to assist you.

3. Develop Self-Esteem: Building self-esteem involves focusing on self-acceptance and valuing oneself independently of others' opinions. This can be achieved through affirmations, self-care, and personal achievements.

4. Learn to Set Boundaries: Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is essential. This means learning to say no and prioritising your own needs without feeling guilty.

5. Focus on Self-Care: Taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being is vital. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

6. Education: Understanding codependency and its impact can empower you to make positive changes. Reading books, attending workshops, and participating in support groups can be beneficial.

7. Build Healthy Relationships: Cultivate relationships that are based on mutual respect, support, and equality. Avoid relationships that are one-sided or draining.

How Narc & Co Can Help

At Narc & Co, we offer a comprehensive mentoring program designed to support you through every step of your recovery journey. Our services include:

• Personalised Mentoring Sessions: Conducted via Zoom, our sessions provide a safe and convenient way for you to receive support from the comfort of your own environment.

• Experienced Mentors: Our mentors have firsthand experience with narcissistic abuse and codependency, offering empathy, understanding, and practical advice.

• Expert Oversight: Our program is founded and overseen by Nick Kerry, MSc, ensuring that our approach is grounded in solid psychotherapeutic principles.

• Holistic Approach: We address all aspects of recovery, including emotional, psychological, and practical strategies to help you reclaim your life.

If you or someone you know is struggling with codependency and the effects of narcissistic abuse, don't hesitate to reach out to Narc & Co. Our team is here to guide you towards a healthier, more fulfilling life free from the chains of codependency and narcissistic abuse.

Contact us today to schedule your first session and take the first step towards your recovery journey.