Is Narcissism More Common in Men? A Deep Dive into Gender Differences in Narcissism

When we think about narcissism, the image that often comes to mind is someone who is self-absorbed, constantly seeking admiration, and unable to show empathy. But is this stereotype true for everyone? And more importantly: is narcissism really more common in men than in women?

The answer is nuanced. Research suggests that men are indeed more likely to display narcissistic traits, but the way narcissism appears in daily life can vary depending on gender. Let’s explore what science says, what causes these differences, and why understanding them matters - especially in relationships and therapy.

What Exactly Is Narcissism?

Before jumping into the question of gender, it’s important to clarify what we mean by narcissism.

• Healthy narcissism – This is the positive side of narcissism. It’s about self-confidence, ambition, and valuing yourself. A certain amount of healthy narcissism helps us set boundaries, pursue goals, and maintain self-respect.

• Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) – This is the clinical diagnosis, recognized in the DSM-5. People with NPD experience deep struggles: a constant need for admiration, difficulty maintaining relationships, lack of empathy, and sometimes manipulative behavior. It’s not just “ego” — it’s a serious mental health condition that can cause suffering both for the person and those around them.
  

Understanding this distinction is crucial. When we talk about “narcissism in men” or “narcissism in women,” we usually refer to traits rather than a formal diagnosis.

Research on Narcissism in Men vs Women

Numerous psychological studies and meta-analyses have looked into gender differences in narcissism. The findings are remarkably consistent:

• Men, on average, score higher on measures of narcissism. They are more likely to show dominance, entitlement, and the desire to lead or be admired.

• Women also show narcissistic tendencies, but these often take subtler, more relational forms - like needing approval, perfectionism, or sensitivity to criticism.
  

For example, one large-scale study published in Psychological Bulletin (2015) analyzed data from over 475,000 participants across three decades. It found that men scored higher in leadership/authority and entitlement, while gender differences in vanity were smaller.

Overt vs Covert Narcissism

To really understand gender differences, it helps to look at two subtypes:

• Overt narcissism (also called grandiose narcissism):

  • Outward confidence

  • Dominance and competitiveness

  • Need to be admired

  • Often associated with men in research studies

• Covert narcissism (also called vulnerable narcissism):

  • Hidden insecurity

  • Sensitivity to rejection and criticism

  • Feelings of inadequacy masked by perfectionism

  • More frequently reported in women, though not exclusively

This distinction helps explain why narcissism might “look” different depending on whether you’re dealing with a man or a woman.

Why Might Narcissism Be More Common in Men?

Psychologists point to several factors:

1. Socialization and Gender Roles

From a young age, boys are often encouraged to be ambitious, competitive, and emotionally restrained. Girls, on the other hand, are often taught to be nurturing, cooperative, and relationally focused. These patterns can shape how narcissism develops and is expressed.

2. Cultural Expectations and Media Influence

Media often glorifies male success, dominance, and power — traits associated with overt narcissism. Meanwhile, women may feel pressure to seek validation through appearance, approval, and relationships, which aligns more with covert narcissism.

3. Biological and Hormonal Factors

Some researchers suggest that hormones like testosterone may play a role in dominance and competitiveness, which could explain why narcissism in men often presents more openly.

4. Evolutionary Explanations

From an evolutionary psychology perspective, traits like dominance and risk-taking may have historically benefited men in terms of status and reproduction, reinforcing behaviors that look “narcissistic” today.

Two individuals in contrasting black and white attire hold oversized chess pieces, symbolizing the gender dynamics in discussions about narcissism.

Narcissism in Therapy: How It Shows Up

For therapists, narcissism is not just an abstract concept. It shows up in the therapy room in ways that can deeply affect treatment and relationships.

• In men, narcissism may present as arrogance, dismissing the therapist’s insights, or boasting about achievements. There may be a strong need to maintain control and resist vulnerability.

• In women, narcissism often shows up as perfectionism, fear of being judged, or dependency on external validation. The grandiosity may be less obvious, but the underlying struggle with self-worth is just as real.
  

Importantly, behind both forms of narcissism there is often a deep vulnerability - fear of rejection, shame, and an unacknowledged longing to be accepted for who they are. Therapy can create a safe space to explore this.

Why This Matters for Relationships

Understanding gender differences in narcissism can be eye-opening in relationships.

• If your partner is male and displays narcissistic traits, they may lean toward dominance, competitiveness, or needing to be the center of attention.

• If your partner is female, narcissism may appear more subtly, through insecurity, hypersensitivity, or seeking constant reassurance.
  

Neither form is “better” or “worse.” Both can create challenges in communication, intimacy, and trust. But recognizing these patterns is the first step toward healthier dynamics.

Can Narcissism Change?

Yes - but it takes work. Therapy, self-reflection, and supportive relationships can all help reduce the rigid patterns of narcissism.

• For overt narcissism (often in men): the work is about developing empathy, tolerating vulnerability, and letting go of the need to dominate.

• For covert narcissism (often in women): the focus may be on building genuine self-worth, reducing hypersensitivity, and learning to accept imperfections.

Healing from narcissistic patterns is possible. It’s not about erasing confidence or ambition - it’s about finding balance and authenticity.

Conclusion: Is Narcissism Really More Common in Men?

he short answer: yes, research shows men are more likely to display narcissistic traits, especially overt ones. But narcissism is not exclusive to men. Women also struggle with it - often in more hidden or relational ways.

Understanding these differences is essential not only for psychology and therapy but also for our personal lives. Recognizing narcissistic patterns in ourselves or others doesn’t mean labeling someone as “toxic.” Instead, it’s an opportunity to look deeper, acknowledge vulnerabilities, and work toward healthier ways of relating.

Behind narcissism, whether in men or women, lies a universal human need: to be seen, valued, and loved. Therapy can help uncover and heal these needs, leading to more authentic connections with ourselves and others.

Want to understand where narcissism comes from? Read our in-depth article: “Is Narcissism Genetic? From Genes to Environment – A Complete Overview” and discover how both genes and environment shape this personality trait. If you want to learn more about narcissistic personality disorder, see more articles on our blog.