Codependency Test: Start Journey to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Codependency Test: Understanding Your Patterns and Healing with Narc & Co

At Narc & Co, we understand how the effects of narcissistic abuse can leave lasting imprints on your sense of self and how you relate to others. One of the most common and challenging patterns to emerge from such toxic dynamics is codependency. If you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist or have experienced dysfunctional relationships, you may have unknowingly developed codependent behaviors.

But what exactly is codependency? And how can you start recognising its patterns in your life?

What Is Codependency?

Codependency refers to a behavioral pattern where your self-worth and identity are heavily reliant on another person’s approval or emotional state. It often involves prioritising the needs, feelings, and problems of others above your own—leading to a cycle of neglecting your own well-being in the hope of receiving validation or maintaining a sense of control. In relationships affected by narcissistic abuse, codependency can deepen, as you may become overly focused on pleasing the narcissist or managing their volatile emotions.

At its core, codependency is driven by fear—the fear of rejection, abandonment, or conflict. This fear creates a constant need to control the situation and other people’s reactions in an attempt to feel safe and worthy.

Signs of Codependency

Recognising codependency in yourself can be difficult because it often masquerades as selflessness, concern for others, or "being needed." However, if left unchecked, codependency can trap you in unhealthy dynamics and prevent you from fully embracing your autonomy and self-worth.

Some key signs of codependency include:

• Difficulty identifying your own needs: You may struggle to recognise or express your own emotions and desires because your focus is always on others.

• Seeking validation: Your sense of value comes from the opinions of others, and you feel validated when you're "needed."

• Fear of abandonment: You stay in unhealthy relationships or situations out of fear of being alone or unloved.

• Overextending yourself: You go to great lengths to help or care for others, often at the expense of your own well-being.

• Difficulty setting boundaries: You may feel guilty or fearful when trying to set healthy boundaries, often sacrificing your own needs to avoid conflict.

Take the Codependency Test

To help you begin exploring whether you exhibit codependent behaviors, we’ve created a simple codependency test. This is not a diagnostic tool, but rather a way to bring awareness to patterns you may want to discuss further with a mentor or therapist. Understanding these tendencies is the first step toward healing and breaking free from codependency.

As you read through the questions, be honest with yourself. Reflect on your current and past relationships, especially those where you may have felt emotionally or psychologically drained.

Count the sentences below that pertain to you.

1. My relationships often involve people who need my help or are somehow dependent on me.

2. When I can’t help someone, I feel guilty and responsible for their upset feelings.

3. In the last year, significant others have resorted to arguing, begging, or raising

    their voice to get me to stop trying to help them.

4. I spend a lot of time thinking through or projecting outcomes, trying to figure out what I can do to get the outcome I want.

5. It's difficult for me to receive praise or thanks from others.

6. I do not like to let myself get angry. When I do, I often lose control and feel ashamed.

7. It's difficult for me to say "No" or to ask for things that I need at home, at work, or with friends.

8. I often over-commit my time and measure my self-esteem by how much someone depends on me. 

9. It is hard for me have fun or relax; if I'm not productive, I feel worthless.

10. It's difficult to believe that someone could truly love me.

11. I am afraid of being hurt or abandoned if I allow myself to be loved.

12. I find it easy to criticise and blame others, although I don’t like to admit it.

13. I seem to justify or make excuses for others’ actions when they have hurt me.

14. When I know a relationship is about to end, I will stay in it until I can begin another relationship.

15. It is easy to make me feel guilty because I take responsibility for others and blame myself for their upset.

16. I am not sure what normal is.

17. I often take a stand in a relationship and then go back on what I said if it causes tension.  

18.  I am not aware of what I want. I ask others what they want.

19. I tend to be sick a lot. I can't seem to fight off infection, but it doesn’t stop me.

20. There never seems to be enough time to do things I enjoy doing.

Your Score:

How many sentences did you tick out of twenty? The more you identified with, the more codependency is part of your relationships. 

What Comes Next?

If you recognise patterns of codependency in yourself, know that healing is possible. Codependency doesn’t define you, and by bringing awareness to these behaviors, you’re already taking the first step toward healthier relationships and a more empowered version of yourself.

At Narc & Co, we offer compassionate, experienced mentorship designed to help you untangle these unhealthy patterns and build new, supportive ways of relating to yourself and others. In our Phase Two of the recovery program, we dive deep into psychoeducation and explore codependent behaviors and their root causes. With the help of our mentors, all of whom have personal experience with narcissistic abuse, you can begin the journey of reclaiming your voice, setting boundaries, and rebuilding your sense of self-worth.

Begin Your Healing Journey with Narc & Co

Breaking free from codependency is about learning to put your own needs first, recognising your value, and creating relationships that are balanced and healthy. You deserve to be in relationships where your worth isn’t based on how much you give or sacrifice, but on mutual respect and care.

If you've taken our codependency test and you’re ready to explore your codependent tendencies and start healing from narcissistic abuse, Narc & Co is here for you. Our team of mentors, each with their own experience of healing, is equipped to guide you through this process. Through our personalised mentoring sessions, you’ll receive the support and tools you need to break free from the cycle of codependency and embrace a more self-loving, empowered life.

At Narc & Co, healing starts with understanding. Let us walk with you on your journey to reclaim your life and heal from narcissistic abuse.